WV Town Has Economic Resurgence Following New "Fuck With Randall" Economic Strategy

Clover Lick, WV - The National Association of Development Organization (NADO) Research Foundation recently released a study explaining the dramatic economic revitalization of a rural mountain town named Clover Lick, West Virginia. Like many rural towns in West Virginia, a stagnant economy characterized by lack of employment and low wages has plagued the town since the end of the coal boom era. This all changed when the town elected maverick mayor Reginald “Cooter” McCoy. This change came about by implementing a variation of the “trickle up” economic theory that the mayor refers to as the “Fuck with Randall” plan. Since implementing the plan the town has seen economic growth of over 600%.

According to the mayor, “the whole town’s economy is based on fuckin’ with Randall. Without him this whole place falls apart.” This economic revitalization reportedly began shortly after Cooter was elected mayor in a stunning landslide victory of 7 votes over the incumbent mayor Jerry Wilson. According to the NADO study, the plan was created when Randall took Mr. McCoy’s daughter on a date. Mr. McCoy subsequently established a 24 hour police watch on Randall. The resulting overtime incurred by the police force required an emergency budgetary meeting for the county. To pay for the increased presence, Randall was placed on seven terror watch-lists, reported as a sex offender, and listed as a suspected drug dealer. The resulting arrests of Randall placed the county as the #1 performing police departments in arrests of major crimes per capita of any police force, and qualified the county for a variety of federal grants. The success of the police force has transformed the entire community. The business of visiting DEA, FBI, and homeland security agents have allowed the local diner, gas station, and Motel 6 all to achieve record profits. The local previously failing Chevy dealership has been able to outfit all government offices in the county with new vehicles using Homeland Security grants, and the local school district now has both a book and a computer. Mayor McCoy encourages his fellow mayors to think outside the box when addressing the issues of their towns.